at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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