Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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