Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
