I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
high people should be assigned attendants
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness