you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This baby is an asshole
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
