i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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