i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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