did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
