I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
