I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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