There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
