we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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