so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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