i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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