Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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