well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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