Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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