i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
