Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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