Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
