he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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