it's like iHOP with fire
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
