just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
