wrigley field is MILF paradise
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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