I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize