On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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