Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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