the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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