Sponge bath it is.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
