I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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