yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
