Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
