he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
