I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize