i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Couch. On fire.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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