Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
