Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
