dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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