Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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