if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
