Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
