You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
