Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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