Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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