we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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