Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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