You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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