How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
