It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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