At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
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Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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