Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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