yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
