Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
