After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
