Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
