i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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