I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
