No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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