is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
