Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
