i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
