I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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