so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
