Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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