And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
