Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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