I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
