I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
