nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
