You smell like a Billy Joel song
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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