Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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